THE 11TH HOUR

jeff
boss

The hour draws near as the eleventh chime sounds. Upon this hour one will awaken or be lost in the sands of time. For the affliction of substance abuse and mental disorders, this is recovery.

It is not about the conquest of material possessions or even success or status. It is the axiom and one's undying commitment to one's growth in recovery. 

The victory often goes unnoticed or is judged by others and can if allowed become self-defeating, this is a falsehood and know the truth lies within ones' self.

Now in this hour comes great freedom and though the journey may seem insurmountable and one's emotions may consume.

Know that you are like the phoenix and you shall rise from your very own ashes and find truth within self and shall become tempered within the fire igniting your own flame full of purpose that will light the way for others who have lost there way.

The external worldview of me affects me significantly, and my past behavior and how I am perceived has prevented me from voicing the truth of who I am and the rejection that may occur. My constant failures embarrass me, and it is sad that the best I could do is recover.

However, farther could be the truth. Not only have I survived I have overcome great difficulties and reached beyond just mere survival I know today that I have a purpose and have become teachable.

My voice of recovery brings the darkness into the light. One's light is hard to measure without the contrast of darkness. My recovery story shows my timeline and illustrates the depth of my addiction and the hopelessness and how I found my voice of recovery.

I am a survivor of drug and sexual abuse as a child (non-family related) I can still see the scenes of myself and other children being directed. I do not remember being scared.

The reality of mental illness and addiction is that it shades the truth to suit its purpose and beguiles with intent to destroy. The journey to one’s recovery is as diverse as is the world we live.

Even now as I am writing it feels as though I am sinking in quicksand from which there is no escape and those who depend on me with their very lives are at the gate of utter destruction.

Even in the light of this, I cannot give up nor can I go back to what I was. So I must press forward against all fear by becoming a voice of recovery in the hope that others might hear my words and find the hope my story because we are all in it together and you are not alone.

We are wayward travelers that have come out of the darkness and found our path to recovery. This month we see a collective voice of recovery so that those who are still in the dark may hear our stories and join us in the light.  

Last Updated: 09/17/2018