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Voices for Recovery

Beth (06/18/2013)


My life was spinning out of control.  You couldn’t tell by looking at me.  I had a three-bedroom house with the person I loved, a great job, and a nice car; but I was miserable.

I felt like two people:  one who didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be, and the other a completely together person that I let everyone see.  I spent years, including many after I sobered up, trying to find myself in other people.  I placed my self-worth in the hands of others.

I drank excessively.  I didn’t want to feel anything, except that I was in control of my circumstances.  In the most sincere moment of my life, I said to the universe, “I can’t do this anymore.”

When I arrived on the doorstep of recovery, I was a broken woman.  My self-respect was in tatters, and my spirit was as broken as the bottles left in my wake.  The most costly price was the jumbo-size crater in my soul.

In sobriety, it was as if a brand new notebook and a box of drawing pencils were laid in front of me.  People told me I could draw the life of my dreams.  One by one, I picked up the pencils and began to draw and write my life.  It wasn’t easy at first, and the life I drew then doesn’t exactly resemble the life I sketch now.

I am my own, proud woman in recovery for 21 years.  I care for myself and do my best to maintain my integrity with myself and others.  I nurture my spiritual life and grow daily by practicing positive principles.

I am so very grateful for this precious gift of sobriety.


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