Voices for Recovery
Jacqueline
(09/22/2009)
After 12 years of being clean, I look back on my life and see how far I have come. I was a desperate and dying addict and did not care who I hurt, including myself. I started using drugs at age 1 year old when my family started giving me alcohol to minimize the pain from an incoming tooth. Alcohol is a drug. I drank on and off until 14 when I became a full blown addict, addicted to alcohol and whatever else I could get a hold of. I used all drugs through inhaling, smoking, and drinking. I tried heroin, pills, dust, and several others, cocaine and crack became my wonder drugs. I used for many many years, 16 to be exact. I hit bottom many times, I believe I began digging. No matter the treatment center, half-way house, or detox, which by the way I went to detox 14 times between1998 to 1996, none of this worked until I became entirely ready to surrender to a 12-step program. Surrender to and acceptance of the fact I was an addict and that without help I would surely die. I got clean 09/02/1997, I walked into the IM Sulzbacher in Jacksonville, FL with nothing but the clothes on my back, a plastic Winn Dixie bag with paraphenalia (I wasn’t sure I wanted to stop) and dirty underwear. I was barefoot and my feet were bleeding. I was 110 pounds soaking wet and dying inside. I went to my first NA meeting and have not had any reason to pick up a drug or drink since. I have a sponsor, I work steps, and I have friends, real friends in NA. I just celebrated 12 years clean and am so grateful. Some of the gifts that I have received as a result of staying clean are: my children, a home, a relationship with my mother, spirituality, a job, and many others. Thank God for desperation. I thank him for the drugs and my addiction; I would not change a thing because it has made me the woman I am today.
Love and Respectfully Yours,
Jacqueline